Chapter 9: What Jason Said
He was waiting outside the courthouse.
Not with Phil Garner.
Not with his mother.
Alone, in a gray coat, standing at the bottom of the steps like he wasn't sure he had the right to be there.
Margaret saw him first.
She touched my arm.
"You don't have to," she said.
"I know," I said.
I walked down the steps.
Carol stayed at the top.
Paula had Lily back at the house.
Jason looked like he had aged a year in a week.
His face was pale.
There were shadows under his eyes that hadn't been there before.
"I watched the recording," he said.
I waited.
"I didn't know she said that.
Before it happened.
I didn't know she was planning—" He stopped.
"I don't know what I thought.
I told myself it was just how she was.
I told myself you were too sensitive.
I told myself—" He stopped again.
"I told myself a lot of things."
"I know," I said.
"Emily." His voice broke on the second syllable.
"She did it in front of me.
She str\*ck our daughter in front of me and I sat there."
"Yes," I said.
"You did."
He looked at the ground.
"I don't know how to explain that."
"You don't have to explain it to me," I said.
"You have to explain it to Lily.
In about five years, when she's old enough to ask you why you didn't stand up."
He flinched.
"I want to fix this," he said.
"I know you do."
"Tell me what to do."
I looked at him for a moment.
This man I had married.
This man who had stayed in his chair.
"Do what I did," I said.
"Start collecting evidence of who you actually are.
Because right now, all I have is what I saw."
He nodded.
He didn't argue.
He didn't explain.
That was the first honest thing that had passed between us in longer than I could remember.
I walked back up the steps.
Margaret fell into step beside me.
"Well?" she said.
"He's not the villain," I said.
"He's something harder to deal with.
He's just a man who chose the easier thing every time, until it wasn't easy anymore."
Margaret considered that.
"What are you going to do with him?"
"I don't know yet," I said.
"But I know what I'm going to do with Diane."
---
The criminal investigation concluded six weeks later.
The Cook County State's Attorney charged Diane Bennett with one count of misdemeanor child endangerment.
Gerald Cross negotiated.
The charge was not dismissed — it was pled down to a formal diversion program requiring Diane to complete a twelve-week parenting and behavior course, submit to six months of supervised probation, and have no contact with Lily for a minimum of one year, subject to review.
Her name appeared in the Cook County court records.
Public.
Searchable.
Margaret called to tell me.
"Is she angry?" I asked.
"Gerald Cross says she is furious.
She's telling the family it was a political prosecution.
She's saying you manufactured the evidence."
"What does Richard say?"
A pause.
"Richard Bennett has retained his own attorney.
He filed for separation from Diane two weeks ago.
Apparently the recording was — clarifying — for him as well."
I sat with that.
"And Jason?"
"Jason has enrolled in a counseling program voluntarily.
His attorney submitted that to the court as a good-faith gesture." Margaret paused.
"He also sent a letter to the DCFS investigator acknowledging that he failed to intervene and accepting full responsibility for that failure."
I hadn't known about the letter.
"He didn't tell me," I said.
"He asked me not to," Margaret said.
May you like
"He said he wasn't doing it for you.
He was doing it because it was true."
